I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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