I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
