Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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