You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
