READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
