I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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