I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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