they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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