Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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