whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize