Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
