just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
