i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
