Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
false alarm, still single
Randomize
