He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
