you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
