I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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