im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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