you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
