i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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