Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
