my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
