Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
