You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
