When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
