Cold hands, warm shart.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
