Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
