I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
