So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
