I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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