I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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