do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
