glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
