What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I still have a little drunk in my system
When are your genitals available?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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