So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize