Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I faked an abortion last night.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
