Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
