you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
