Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
