look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize