kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
