Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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