Will you blow on my dice?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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