My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
