honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
