The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
