We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
