just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i've created a new STD.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
