he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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