whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
