mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
