remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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