You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
