i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Found your dick twin last night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
