But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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