youre lurking in front of me
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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