I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
