yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
