last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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