I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
