Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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