you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
