I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
