A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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