i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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